The player will show in this paragraph
Hey guys, its Shana.
I’m responding to a post by Randy about relationships and women in relationships being narcissistic, and that women really want to be special. And you know what, its true, I really want to be special, and it might be narcissistic but at this point, I can play with that, I can have fun with that, and I want men to also.
So even if I know I’m not going to be the only woman a man is attracted to, and I know that I’m not going to be the only woman my man is attracted to, but when he makes me feel special, or when he tells me I’m beautiful, even if he tells me I’m the only woman in the world he’s attracted to with a little wink so that I know its not necessarily true, but so I can feel special in that moment. It’s amazing!
Randy you said something about you want to give everyone equal attention. One woman is more beautiful than another and you dont think its right to put attention on the woman who’s more beautiful just because she’s more beautiful. Well, what if you just consider that everyone you’re giving attention to, you’re giving special attention. And in one moment you’re going to be choosing to give it to someone and in one moment you’re choosing to give it to someone else.
I want you to actually get to give attention to who you want to give attention to. You have a lot of care and a lot of attention on what women need and being equal about it and I think you, Randy, are getting left out of the picture. So I would love for you to kind of veer over to the other end of the spectrum for a little while and play with “What do you want? What’s real for you?”
Hope that helps!
From Bryan: This is a new experiment we’re trying, to have the women from our “Ask The Women of AMP” area of our members-only online forum create video responses to members’ posts. We’re posting them to the blog here for everyone’s education and enjoyment.
Leave a comment and tell us your thoughts!
For information about coaching with Shana email: shana@authenticsf.com.
Thanks Shana – Yes, this hits big time. Instead of treating everyone *equal*, I can treat everyone *special*. That’s far more impactful for the world, and fulfilling for everyone, including myself. And the same time, I owe it to myself to treat *myself* special too, including my own wants.
I noticed from my experience that there was a level of genuine respect I got from others by not catering to my own wants, but yes I wrote myself out of the picture. When it’s all said and done, I got a good deal of respect in the moment, and felt good in many ways, but felt personally shortchanged. I’m now observing how I can express my wants within a higher context.
Your response to me is impactful – you put the mirror in front of my face. It’s inspiring me to treat everyone special because I’m experiencing the impact that being treated special has right now, just in the way you delivered your message. I also have to admit that it’s intense as well.
I have a follow up question which I’ll post of the board.
Randy
Thanks for this. I had a lot of fun watching it and being with you, if only virtually.
Thanks, Shana-
You’re absolutely right- the important thing is that we acknowledge and playfully honor that you WANT to feel that way; we all know the real undercurrents, but that’s all they are, and we can have fun letting our ladies know how important they are to us.
I also like your pointing out that EVERY time we give someone our attention, it should be “special” attention. I tend to be a pretty cavalier and irreverent guy, which often times is a defense mechanism, so coming into an irony-free zone like this blog and the AMP milieu in general sometimes feels odd/funny/threatening to me, but it’s where so much understanding of important stuff happens.
You really are beautiful.
Forreals. 🙂