The player will show in this paragraph

Hey there, it’s Shelly with the Authentic Man Program.

I’m going to answer a post by James, and it’s called “Holding Myself and Others to a High Standard”. And James is talking about how he has a really high standard in terms of his integrity, his honesty, his ‘on-time-ness’; and what he says is that actually he’s losing some relationships in his life because he has this standard and he has these requirements and not everybody is meeting those.

I totally get it, James, and I think on the one hand its really wonderful to hold high standards, but what I would offer to you is just to take a little bit of a closer look at, “What’s your experience like when these people don’t show up on time, don’t keep their word?” What happens for you? How do you feel? Do you feel frustrated, angry, upset; and then what is the underlying need?

Perhaps it’s a need for respect, maybe it’s a need for honesty and integrity. And I totally get that, but I’m wondering is it really worth it to completely lose all these people in your life with this high standard, or could you keep some of them around as peripheral friends and have that be ok– that maybe this one friend you have isn’t always on time, but you can forgive that because you understand and have compassion for what’s going on for him.

So just take a look. Are you pushing them away because you’re uncomfortable with your own feelings and your own experience of what happens when they’re late, or is really that you just have this standard and you don’t want anyone in your life who doesn’t hold this same standard?

So take a look at that, and let us know what you find out!

Thanks so much for asking!
Bye James!

From Bryan: This is a new experiment we’re trying, to have the women from our “Ask The Women of AMP” area of our members-only online forum create video responses to members’ posts. We’re posting them to the blog here for everyone’s education and enjoyment.

Leave a comment and tell us your thoughts!