36 Comments

1. 

   Josh Sumara on May 31, 2011 at

   I’m not in a place in my life where I even want to think about pursuing women, and for whatever reason even if I was I’d be resisting the fuck out of shared humanity style teachings.

   Prolly some anger and fear with people to dig up on my end.

   Reply
2. 

   Alex Allman on May 31, 2011 at

   Bryan, fucking fantastic again!

   I love everything you guys at AMP are up to and even after being in this business for years, interviewing dozens and dozens of experts, gurus, and masters… I still continuously learn new distinctions from you guys.

   A little piece for the men who don’t immediately feel the rush of, “of course!” from the tip about seeing her as “spirit, mind, body” in that order is this…

   You’ve got to see YOUR SELF in that order too when you’re relating to her in that way. It immediately makes you not only equal on the playing field of fun… but it also makes you strangely and powerfully connected in “getting each other”.

   But lordy… it CAN be challenging. I could hardly even manage it with those photos… I felt like… oh, come on Bryan… can’t I just sit here and be snowed for just a little while? It’s so pleasantly relaxing to just lose yourself in that trance.

   Like anything, it’s a practice. And I for one am going to be more committed to taking it on.

   Thanks Bryan.

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   • 

     Bryan on June 1, 2011 at

     Dude — Alex! SO GOOD to have you on here.

     I love the tip about seeing YOURSELF as Spirit-Mind-Body first, that you’re not the car you drive, your bank account, (your khakis), etc…

3. 

   Adam on May 31, 2011 at

   I find that many women who have a “hot girl costume” end up getting stuck in it, and it makes sense that they would, since most of the world interacts with them as if they are wearing it all the time.

   I think one real gift we can give these women is to help them take off their “hot girl costume” (And no, I don’t mean get them naked). Give them a chance to wear another costume should they choose to, or a chance to slink around in the personality equivalent of sweats and a tee-shirt. Ask them to show you the part of themselves that no one asks to see. The women that happily, nervously, and courageously oblige are worth exploring. The ones that refuse to take off the “hot girl” costume (or don’t know how) are best kept in the friend zone.

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   • 

     Bryan on June 1, 2011 at

     Adam —

     *YES*, agreed. I find that Offering Reflection is a powerful way to help them relax out of their role, and more into what is most true for them. What a gift!

4. 

   Allana Pratt on May 31, 2011 at

   First to Bryan, then to Josh below.

   Bryan, I love what you’ve written about how looking for her Spirit, Inner World, Essence (fiery, cool, dark etc.) takes you out of comparison and into connection.

   I invite you to go even deeper.

   When practiced at taking her off the Hot Girl Pedestal and instead connecting with her Being to Being, notice what part of YOU is being awakened? Men who know it all are offensive, men who are predictable are left for other more James Bond adventurous men who embrace the Mystery and unEarth yet revealed qualities buried inside.

   Let this new way of engaging Being to Being with women help YOU evolve beyond who you think you are… do this as you enjoy the nynph festival, making love to your woman, even connecting with the check out girl at the grocery store.

   We are limitless Beings. Ever unfolding. Embrace the Unknown (and women) with curiosity, fascination and certainty that YOU will grow, and watch hesitancy dissolve.

   Next, amazing Josh. I love your anger. Are you willing just to spew it or alchemize it into your power?

   If you stew in it, it will turn into self pity and take you out. If you sit in the fire and face it, you will reconnect with the Truth of who you are, Power itself, Confidence itself, Peace itself.

   This is more than flowery language. (smile)

   This is 100% guaranteed proven repeatable effective Truth.

   Blessings to you both! Deliciously yours, Allana

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   • 

     Tom on June 1, 2011 at

     I have been both people you described. Bitter,boring and taken out. Calm, playful, and curious. I enjoy my existence MORE throwing away the hurt,and anger and trying to find out what I can become. I become more of a Man when I learn more about women.

   • 

     Bryan on June 1, 2011 at

     Right on, Allana!

     I accept your invitation!

   • 

     Josh Sumara on June 11, 2011 at

     I’ll explore it.

5. 

   Puro on May 31, 2011 at

   Great reminder of how great it feels to go back to essence. To value the connection first.

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6. 

   Angela van de Riet on May 31, 2011 at

   I always love Allana’s content-Thx

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7. 

   Christopher on May 31, 2011 at

   Remembering that the “Goddess” shits, showers and shaves is helpful

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8. 

   matt on May 31, 2011 at

   I’d agree with what has been said. In my words of how I see this, a woman radiates her spirit with her presentation. If she is overly sexual appearing, overly dominant posture, any short shaved hair in her yarn, Signals like these are easy to see. A woman who hasnt used much more than a little eyeliner and one other form of application, nice flowing middle range appearing clothing as well as not trying to draw too much attention to herself is much more likely to catch my ‘quality’ radar. One thing I have started realising is “will they allow me to be myself when I am with them?, Will they force me to repress any characteristics of myself to get along with them?” I will listen to my body, and if I sense that my inner animal from within makes an appearance, then its safer than when it is in the dark. Just like I read in a sharetrading magazine recently. Curtis Faith say’s to get a feel for the graph, get around it fow a while and notice what happens every move up and down, gain as much Intuition as possible and its possible to anticipate its next move. I have been around people and noticing different things for the last year in particular. More observing than only going out all the time, get rejected and not know whats holding the interaction back. Some of the stuff people do are hints that thier ‘Dark side’ is active. I remember girls who punched me, girls who do things to nasty things to other people. But also women who are gentle and soothing to be with, totally aaccepting me and being comfortable around my reasonable status. I could write about a whole lot more, but I dont feel thats necessary as you should get a feel for my perspective with what I have written.

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   • 

     Liz on June 6, 2011 at

     This is another very interesting topic.

     <>

     Thank you for sharing this. It made me question how I’m coming across as a woman… am I coming through as open and accepting, or am I forcing repression?

9. 

   Ken Moorison on May 31, 2011 at

   Hey,
   “Snowed by Her Beauty”, “by The Hot Girl Costume”, “by The Cover”, etc., is the nominal result of century upon century upon century upon century of male conditioning, oftentimes without us even knowing it. My career employs merchandising and marketing management and if the core fact that we act on impulse because of appearance ever reverses, many of us are going down.

   I just spent an awesome, passionate, blow my mind, weekend with a phenomenal person. When she contacted me, I was at first snowed, she was gorgeous, showed a pic to one of my friends and his first response was “Rrrrooww!!”. Snowed!! I couldn’t disagree.

   After chatting online, and a bit of texting, she requested my phone # so she could call me. When she did, the conversation developed very quickly into an easy dialogue of any and every subject we could be inquisitive about, comfort level beyond belief, trusting with intimate non-sexual and sexual matters. Real-life stuff was heard by each of us regarding what matters to each of us. The snow fell from my eyes a bit, and being able to see her for more than a pretty face and smoking bod, I then couldn’t wait to meet her in person and find out more.

   We set a dinner date shortly thereafter, and when we finally met face to face, my mind not totally in control went down the “snowed” route again, her pics didn’t do her justice, she was “HOT”! Snowed! a little chit chat, we sit to be called, waiting for our table, and she proceeds to show me the assembly instructions and owners manual to her newly purchased(presently, at the time, in the back of her truck), super charged Roto-Tiller. Well, I received this with interest, as this excited Hobby Farm Girl(Executive, by day)bubbled on about all the plans and how it will make the tasks easier on the farm. The snow fell like an avalanche off my mind.

   Sitting down to our table, it was a half hour before ordering, because of the talking and listening to each other. 15 minutes more of talk and the appetizers came, another 20 minutes and the main course; the food was good, what little we ate, the talk was better, the meals went cold, It was an Awesome 3 hours plus!

   When it came time to leave and part company, I walked her to her truck, took a peak at the roto-tiller, and went to seal the evening with a good night kiss; but before that, she asks where I parked. I am way around back. She says hop in I’ll drive you. OK!
   She proceeds to park beside my truck, and we talk some more, it is now midnight, and I allude to it’s late should be heading home and go in for the good night kiss and Wow! this impactful, powerful, gorgeous person, who doesn’t kiss on the first date, opened up to the most passionate, 2 hour good night kiss ever. More to come….

   I see I’m writing a novel here, and will return with the phenomenal weekend tale soon!! In the mean time, don’t get snow in your eyes, and try the “this is a Real Person” polarized filter goggles. It just might change your life, because you’ll finally see who you really want.

   Thanks for the opportunity to share,

   Ken

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   • 

     Bryan on June 1, 2011 at

     Ken,

     Thanks so much for sharing in-the-moment experience of how getting “snowed” shows up!

     Good luck! Check back in and tell us how it goes!

     – B

10. 

    Chris on May 31, 2011 at

    Oh! Matching lingerie! I notice that they’re wearing matching lingerie! See, I’m present like that.

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11. 

    Sebastian Earl on May 31, 2011 at

    I would agree with everything you shared from yourself and Allana. All to which both of you speak is i believe true. However, i do feel as men we need to ask ourselves why we are really attracted to the “hot” women, and whether it is really because we feel a genuine attraction to them or simply because it would boost our self esteem to be with them.
    If it is the latter, even if we try to see them as radiant beings in radiant bodies, or any of the other suggestions above, we are still not seeing them as real people. We may not be seeing them as “meat” to fulfill our sexual desires, but we are instead seeing them as objects to meet our self-esteem needs (which i have certainly been terribly guilty of doing in the past).
    How come more of us don’t try to see the “radiant beings” in the not so hot women?
    Lastly, it is my profound experience that there is certain chemistry you have with some people and not with others. If there is a genuine connection between you and someone else, and we are attuned enough to ourselves, we can sense that! This works for any kind of attraction, sexual or otherwise. And if we can let go of our stories of inadequacies (which i have not found to be an easy thing to do!), i feel that we can “tune in” to what is genuinely there in the “field”.
    If you genuinely sense a feeling of attraction for someone (and by genuine i mean you are not fooling yourself with projections or stories), then almost certainly the other person feels that too. Follow that energy, and the connection will come easily………..

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    • 

      greggarious on June 1, 2011 at

      It can be a powerful honesty at some point to just tell her: ‘You’re beautiful,’ or ‘I’m captivated by the color of your eyes, the feel of your hair, the radiance of your skin.’ I’ve read that it’s good strategy to tell her, ‘you’re cute,’ because that reminds her of her childhood and gives her a warm feeling, but I’m none too sure about that. I should say whatever I perceive, and ‘you have a lovely radiance’ has at times crossed my lips. The key to this sharing is to say it from a place of my own confidence, of my own boundaries, my own poise. Not covetous, not expecting to evoke a response, not even caring how she replies, but not aloof or detached either. More as a way of acknowledging and conveying my appreciation for beauty, as I would for a sunset or children’s laughter. Glad to be alive, perceiving life’s beauty everywhere, content with that gift all by itself.
      Everyone wants to be admired and adored–without being worshiped. And everyone has something to be admired and adored about. It would be the same thing that I admire and adore in myself–without being arrogant.
      Reciprocity is something to look for too. Does she eventually state what she sees as good qualities in me? Even physical ones? Maybe not right away, but eventually? She can try to use me as I do her, but not likely if I keep my poise and admire from a detached, wait-and-see distance. I don’t need anything, i’m perceiving beauty and grateful for it alone.

    • 

      Bryan on June 1, 2011 at

      I love this part:

      Not covetous, not expecting to evoke a response, not even caring how she replies, but not aloof or detached either. More as a way of acknowledging and conveying my appreciation for beauty, as I would for a sunset or children’s laughter. Glad to be alive, perceiving life’s beauty everywhere, content with that gift all by itself.

    • 

      Bryan on June 1, 2011 at

      Sebastian — great to see you weighing in here! Great fucking point:

      “How come more of us don’t try to see the “radiant beings” in the not so hot women?”

12. 

    Damo on May 31, 2011 at

    Got it.

    One comment… “body, mind, spirit”… what the FUCK has happened to HEART in this age!!!???

    body, mind, heart, spirit… makes much more sense.

    It is impossible to skip the emotional body and jump right from the mental (mind) into the vibrational (spirit).

    So I would add, for me, seeing her as a spirit with an emotional heart (that may or may not be hurting), a mental mind (that may or may not be reactive) and a physical body.

    Reply
13. 

    jeff on June 1, 2011 at

    David Deida has laid the groundwork for us to build on for many years to come. Thank you Allana for bringing it into focus and filling in the blanks, both through your words and your own feminine radiance.

    @Josh: I’ve been there. Two years ago, I was telling myself I was not ready, that I needed to focus on myself, I was too wounded. This narrative served for a while but wore thin, and eventually became downright dishonest. Today I’m pretty much the same guy I was 2 years ago. I’m still getting snowed by outer beauty, still find myself staring like a dumbass and occasionally (though more rarely now) telling myself I’m not worthy. Bur I catch occasional glimpses of breathtaking inner beauty in women that can never be put into words or pictures. This beauty can never be airbrushed, never highlighted, never put into a package and sold at L’Occitane. Josh, step the fuck up. It’s worth putting in the footwork just to see it. No one is going to beg you to bring your strong masculine presence to the table. But everyone’s world will be slightly diminished if you don’t, most of all yours.

    [WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us ‘0 which is not a hashcash value.

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    • 

      Josh Sumara on July 1, 2011 at

      I agree. Recently realized that myself. I’m on it.

14. 

    Lothar on June 1, 2011 at

    Actually reading this article and the responses has shown me just how much I’m not effected by this “snowed” thing. I were brought up by my mum to always see women as people. So much so I’m actually working on allowing myself to feel that snowed attraction! Because without it there ain’t no bad boy flavour.
    There’s no strength, no claiming, no ravishing. No raw purposeful embodied masculine energy.

    The photo’s you’ve in the article do nothing for me. I were surprised to read that some guys found them distracting. In the top one the girls look like empty fun and the bottom one she looks like she would be likely to fight with me. Now maybe I strike a lot of girls off too quickly but this sense about who she is, is normal for me.
    Without even talking to a women I can feel in my body how I feel in relation to her “energy”/vibe. Currently I’m abroad and the snow glasses is more of a problem for me here because the girls here are MUCH more feminine. Totally different to interact with because not only do the EXPECT men to be men, they ALLOW men to be men and they support men to be men. Back home most women seem to be on an inner crusade to be equal to a man, rather than comfortable in the difference of her feminine nature.

    I usually only get the snow/rose coloured glasses the more I learn about a women and find compatibility. Then they are real hard to remove LOL.

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15. 

    Jeff Borgman on June 1, 2011 at

    This was a fantastic article that I really enjoyed reading…and so true as well. The sooner you can notice the “person” inside the hot costume, the quicker you distinguish yourself from all the other guys who fail to, and believe me, she notices…fast.

    Reply
16. 

    andre on June 1, 2011 at

    Hey, great report!
    I can see this happening to me all the time. Get talking to not so hot girl, like on a party or someone’s friend – get her atracted to me even if I kind of try not to. Or if one of my buddies gets hot girlfriend – I can talk to her no problem and make friends and make her think I am cool.

    But if i SEE a hot girl, that means before I even talk to her, it is very different – I try to think what to say to her, then disregard the comment for being stupid and it making her think something negative, it all ending up me not talking to her and even worse, me feeling down because of all the thoughts why she wouldnt want to have anything with ME.

    Is it perhaps similar like when a guy has a great car and cool house and a girl respond to this, just like when a girl is gorgeous and that is the think he responds to.

    It is better to stay focused on who she is, than being distracted by what she looks like.

    thank you

    Reply
17. 

    Richard on June 1, 2011 at

    I can see the “hot woman costume” trap. But I think telling guys to start looking for “spirit” or “essence” and “who she is” is way too vague. You need to spell this shit out. Suggestion: show an example, or give exercises that lead a man into discovering why this is cool?

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    • 

      Koen on June 3, 2011 at

      Great article, but I agree with Richard. I already know I put hot girls on pedestals. Fact is, I wanna be able to communicate with hot girls in a relaxed manner, but just the sight of them unleashes all kinds of emotional barriers. I would like to see her inner beauty, but I also like that she is beautiful. So she will always sense my awe for her beauty and to be honest, that will probably be the main motive to talk to her in the first place. I can’t ignore that.

      Best,
      Koen

    • 

      Bryan on June 4, 2011 at

      The whole Getting Her World program spells this out in step-by-step detail. Free videos on the blog at http://blog.gettingherworld.com/

18. 

    Vince on June 2, 2011 at

    I just use the old Mystery adage…something to the effect of “beauty is common, show me what else there is about you that would make me wanna get to know you better.” does she or doesn’t she have that spirit?

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19. 

    adnan on June 2, 2011 at

    costume turns me on and takes me to hot immaginations

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20. 

    C F on June 5, 2011 at

    Thanks, Bryan. I did check her out.

    I am not sure what to say, if anything.

    She’s a hottie, and I’d like to know her. Maybe.

    I don’t like her sales approach – more of that “You are sick and you need ME to save you” stuff. And how does doing what a woman wants ME to do serve ME? Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, maybe. Always? That’s NICE GUY!

    Reminds me of what my old buddy Salty said when I linked him to one of the AMP blogs featuring one of the AMP ladies – “It’s OK, and you have to remember, you are still dealing with a woman’s mind.”

    As for “burning,” the only thing I want to burn in at the moment is a nice, hot, wet, snatch.

    I notice that there is a strange paradox or dilemma in the entire “Shared Humanity” approach – how do you get rid of “Nice Guy-Itis” by learning how to be a bigger and better “Nice Guy”?

    OK, I see the truth of it. It only LOOKS that way. It really isn’t that way.

    Being “Present” is a challenge. Sometimes, being totally immersed in the moment keeps you from being aware of all the tiny details. You can easily “miss” something. It calls for a completely different and larger kind of “Presence.” Detachment. I have wondered for years how to be detached and yet still immersed in the moment.

    I think that maybe the easiest thing is to look at everything life hands us as a “GIFT.” A gift that no one is required to accept, or resist. You choose to enjoy it or not, to avail yourself, or not. You are MY gift, and I am yours. She is MINE, and I am hers.

    I once had a conversation with a lady friend, where I told her I wanted to be HER prize, and she resisted, saying that she wanted to be MY prize, and I think that is important, we have to be each other’s prize, or someone doesn’t get one.

    Like I always say, I love AMP and what you are doing. You guys are still the best. I keep learning.

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21. 

    David Harrison on June 12, 2011 at

    Why bother wasting time with anyone who plays power games? Why prop up a someone’s self esteem, just to feel better about themselves? If a person can’t value right from wrong, then don’t associate with them. The consequences of their choices will prevail.

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22. 

    Sean Mennell on June 13, 2011 at

    Hey Bryam, thank you for another great article.

    I started to get snowed in my the hot photos. I breathed them in and noticed I became much more centred and whole. I could appreciate their beauty and be totally centred. I think it would be good practice for me and many other guys on here to do this in the moment infront of hot radiant women.

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    • 

      Sean Mennell on June 13, 2011 at

      As you know I meant Bryan 🙂