Wrote this while on a 6-month trip through Southeast Asia & India last year. Enjoy!
– Bryan

When I was a kid, what I wanted more than anything else was a Dukes of Hazzard big wheel. This is it. The 3-wheel “General Lee”!

Why? While I liked the Dukes of Hazzard TV show, what I liked even more was the fact that this big wheel had a spin-out HAND BRAKE on it. What did that mean? It meant I could pedal at top speed, then pull off turning 180 degree swerves, just like the kids in the commercial.



I wanted one so bad, and was clear that if I only had this ONE THING, The Dukes of Hazzard big wheel with the hand brake, I would be completely satisfied. I prayed to God that Santa would bring me one, and… he did!

My life was finally complete!

For about 15 minutes.

Then, the novelty wore off… and it was just another toy.

Years later, I had completely forgotten that lesson, when I played Super Mario Bros on a friend’s Nintendo. This was so far beyond the Atari games that I’d grown up with… all the secret levels, and cool tricks you could do on Super Mario, I
knew I’d never, ever get bored of that game. I was positive I wouldn’t even WANT any other games…

So I got a Nintendo, and sure enough, Super Mario held my interest, fully and completely!

For about 2 days.

It was beginning to dawn on me that that material fulfillment is a temporary fix, and NOT the promise of eternal happiness that it seems to be.

And then forgot it, and went out and bought the ULTIMATE game-to-end-all-games, Legend of Zelda. Until I realized, once again…

And so on…

I’d certainly forgotten this realization again by the time my attention turned from big wheels and video games toward the ultimate object of craving: Girls.

Women.

The Feminine.

LUSTING AFTER WOMEN

I was studying with one of David Deida’s teachers several years ago, and one thing he said really stuck out at me. Something along the lines of…

“We could fill this massive room with EVERY FLAVOR of woman you could ever imagine – vivacious fiery ones; cool, icy-gorgeous ones; sweet, submissive ones… Asians, Latinas, Norwegians… and you could have rocking, kinky sex every which way with every single one of them, fulfill every raunchy, taboo fantasy you’ve ever had… for 3 YEARS…
And at the end, you would still ask me the same damn questions about women that you’re asking me now.”

When it comes down to it, most of us chronically seek things outside of ourselves in order to feel complete. This is especially true with how we relate to women.

And it will NEVER be enough when it comes to women.

A YEAR OF MY FANTASIES BEING FULFILLED

This past year has been a LOT of fun. I’ve dated lots of women and fulfilled most of my sexual fantasies…

and, I’m starting to finally sustain the realization, on a deeper, ongoing level, that there IS no “Holy Grail” experience, some final event that will have me feeling fulfilled, long-term.

But after each experience, it was just like the Dukes of Hazzard Big Wheel.

In fact, there’s an almost existential hopelessness that sets in when I’ve “had it all” – and I realized that none of it really means anything as far as long-term fulfillment, happiness and satisfaction is concerned.

Sure, there are still women I’m interested in, and at times I’m practically INCAPACITATED by my attraction to all these exotic women that I see in my travels here in Asia.

In my clearest moments, it’s plain to me that every gorgeous woman I see who catch my attention, and seems to hold the promise of “ultimate satisfaction”, is just another form of the Dukes of Hazzard Big Wheel with a spin-out hand-brake.

Without a deeper context of appreciaton, my sexual desires would offer a fulfillment, at most…and THEN what?

The search continues for the next “peak experience”… the next “workshop high”… the next psychedelic journey, the next new hot girl, the next money-making opportunity, etc… each time, becoming clearer and clearer that NO “PEAK EXPERIENCE” IS EVER REALLY GOING TO FULFILL ME, REALLY.

No video game, no drug, no sexual experience and no amount of money is ever going to do it. NOTHING WILL.

How does that feel?

To come to grips with the fact that most of your efforts to bring meaning to your life, or to stave off loneliness or that sense of lack, are a crack-pipe quick-hit fix, at BEST?

THE ONLY WAY OUT I’VE FOUND…

I’m going to share with you the way out of this dilemma…
Ready?

Here it is:

Derive satisfaction from the simple pleasures.

My desire is to derive the same degree of bliss, freedom and fulfillment from an orgy with a harem of the bangin’est tantrika bikini models, as I would from a deep, full breath of air moving through my nostrils, into my lungs, and nourishing my body with fresh oxygen….

To enjoy a cup of hot green tea as much as a world-class blowjob.

THAT is my desire now.

Because when you’ve been there and done that…what’s left, but to deepen your satisfaction of the simple pleasures of being alive, moment to moment?

That’s why I’m here at the Osho Meditation Resort in Pune, India, waking up at 5:30am every morning, and doing all kinds of strange meditation practices… shaking, laughing, Sufi whirling, dancing, crying, jumping up and down and yelling the mantra “HOO!”

All kinds of things to take me out of the typical thought-stream of the mind and bring me into a deeper felt-experience of the present moment. Osho said that the Western mind wasn’t designed to simply do seated silent meditation – that we needed something more Dynamic to clear the mind, before we could sit with any sustained attention, and I’ve definitely found this to be true for me.

Ever since I set this intention to relax out of this search get my needs met outside of myself, from a woman or experience, and feel the satisfaction of WHATEVER is arising, independent of my external circumstances, I’ve begun to enjoy all kinds of simple things with a new appreciation now…

• Birds singing, and wheeling overhead
• Sunshine on my skin, the sensation of physical touch on my skin…
• Trees. Fucking WOW. Trees are amazing things, when you stop to really reflect on the nature of trees.
• My body. . I was sitting here at the resort after a recent meditation,just marveling at…”fingers”! The fact that simply by thinking/intending/sending the signal to these things, that they actually move– even as I’m typing these words, they’re following these instructions. And that they’re actually a conduit for helping me express complex ideas. How amazing is that??

From this place, of being with the total simplicity of life, EVERYTHING is a profound GIFT, especially women…!

And, as you might imagine, women are drawn to this depth of appreciation. How you relate to the world is a clear indicator of how you will relate with them…

I was out on a date with a woman recently here in India, and she saw me closing my eyes, slowly savoring each bite of curry, and suddenly I looked over, and saw her looking at me like she was about to pounce on me. She mentioned
later, that she instantly knew if I was savoring food like that, that I would savor HER with just as much loving attention.

Meals are actually a great place to start enjoying the simple moments. You don’t have to be at a meditation retreat to start relaxing out of your need to find the “ultimate fulfilling experience” – you can simply start right NOW, in your day-to-day life.

I used to eat meals while listening to music and checking email. Now, I turn everything off, and focus on each bite of my meal.

AMP “PRESENCE PRACTICE OF THE MONTH”: Conscious Eating

For each meal, remove any other distractions – no TV, email, reading, or music. Focus exclusively on the experience of bringing the food from the plate into your mouth, chewing each bite consciously.

Notice if your mind wanders, and bring it back to this moment of nourishing your body.

From the moment you put it on your fork or spoon, to the moment you bring it into your mouth, to chewing it, you’re paying attention to the sensation of the utensil in your hand, the food in your mouth, passing down the esophagus, etc…
Sounds easy? I find that on a good day, I’m still only Present for about 20% of the bites I take in a meal. Can you beat that?

Doing basic “Simple Pleasures” practices like this helps me deepen my appreciation for my day-to-day experiences–- and an ongoing reminder that I can find satisfaction in ANY moment – not just with women or some “someday” experience in the future.

Love from India!
Jan 11, 2010

Me and this Indian woman ended up singing some popular Broadway Musical Songs together, right here in the Mumbai
Train Station…

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How about you? What’s a commonplace thing that you find simple pleasure in? Leave a comment below: