Here’s a question that was posted on our AMP Inner Circle online forum:
“How can I be authentic, while still ‘cold approaching’? I know that outer game stuff – openers, lines, routines are a no-no, because they’re not real or genuine.”
MY RESPONSE:
Actually, I LOVE outer game stuff – it’s a great way to spice up an interaction with story telling, role-playing, banter, etc…
And it can be completely authentic, depending on how you approach it. My take on the “outer game pickup stuff” is that you should feel free to use outer game techniques, on one condition:
You Enjoy Them, For Their Own Sake
In other words, if you’re using these techniques “in order to” get her to respond in a certain way (make her attracted to you, make her feel safe with you), then my experience is that the interaction will feel slightly “off,” because you’re trying to “make something happen,” you’re attempting to control or force the interaction.
But if you truly enjoy these techniques, and you aren’t attached to how she responds to you, then you could tell the same stories… use the same lines… and have it feel great for both of you. If that’s the case, knock yourself out!
As long as you’re enjoying yourself, and not doing it IN ORDER TO elicit a specific response from her, it’s likely to be rewarding for you both.
As long as you’re enjoying yourself, and not doing it IN ORDER TO elicit a specific response from her, it’s likely to be rewarding for you both.
If your going to use “outer game” I encourage you to find the things that most resonate with your personality and temperament, and let whether you’re enjoying yourself (without being attached to her response) be your guide.
So, think of outer game as the SEASONING on the meat – it’s not the meat itself.
The problem I see with a lot of guys is that they try to employ Outer Game techniques to cover up the fact that there’s no MEAT.
You wouldn’t eat just salt and garlic on its own, would you?
With just outer game, women you meet will soon ask the same thing that lady in the 90’s Wendy’s hamburger commercial did:
“Where’s the Beef?”
If you haven’t cultivated the FUNDAMENTALS, then you’re just a bag of tricks, with no substance.
So if you feel a NEED to use techniques IN ORDER to make her like you or be attracted to you, then outer game is going to feel like a LOT OF WORK, because you NEED something from her (and she’s gonna pick up on that).
Try This Exercise:
In your next interaction with a woman notice if you’re trying to “get” her to respond to you in a certain way. If so, then there’s an opportunity to delve into what’s driving that desire, because it’s BOUND to have a negative impact on your interactions with women.
We go into WAY more detail about this in our downloadable video “Foundations of Inner Game: Revealed”, where we cover the “Big 3” fundamentals of solid Inner Game.
In the video, you’ll see insightful, RADIANT women talking completely uncensored about how they feel about men with these qualities.
