I’m kind of a reckless driver.
Back in the dot-com days, when I was visiting San Francisco on a business trip, I was driving in a convertible Mustang rental car with Decker as we swerved and screeched around corners.
Then… WHAM!
The tire immediately BLEW OUT, causing the car to fishtail out into the intersection, rolling along on the bare tire rim with rubber tearing off and flying in different directions.
We had to return the car on a spare “donut” wheel… and after that, my company would only let me rent mini-vans.
Anyway, the point of the story is that what happened to that tire is often how we often feel when we see a woman who’s REALLY gorgeous. We get BLOWN OUT emotionally.
Does this feel familiar?
Example: You’re walking down the sidewalk when you see your ideal woman walking toward you. She’s a goddess.
Now, in one sense it should be the most natural thing in the world to genuinely go over and interact with this beautiful creature. Yet for most men that’s not the case.
Quite the contrary, right?
Most men: “I’m genuinely attracted and interested in these women and yet I’m consistently terrified, terrified to approach them… What’s up? What’s going on here?”
This is where coming at this from an “inner game” perspective can make a huge difference, FAST.
A lot of women that we find ourselves undeniably drawn to, are literally radiating a lot of ‘feminine energy’.
Yet ironically, for a lot of men this is both the source of our Attraction AND our CON-traction.
We close down in the face of her radiance because of how little capacity we have to receive or “be with” a lot of sensation in general.
In other words, we’re getting “blown out” before we even approach her.
In other words, we’re getting “blown out” before we even approach her.
Starting to sound familiar now? Later on you’ll realize what you would’ve liked to say, or the perfect joke you could’ve made…
Yet in the moment, it’s as if you’re not functioning, literally short-circuiting, in those moments.
If you think back to moments like this in your own life, can you see what I’m talking about?
Good news…
You Can Proactively Cultivate More Presence with Radiant Women
A lot of men who take to this work more naturally have practiced a lot of martial arts or yoga. They have actively cultivated the capacity to fully “be with” a lot of physical and emotional sensation and intensity without losing their center.
Whether you go out and start working on your blackbelt or not, I’ve actually found that simply BECOMING AWARE of how you close off from the feeling of intense physical or emotional sensation can make a huge difference.
With or without intense training, you can be with a lot more energy than you think, once you at least know how.
Really Get This: The source of you shutting down with extraordinarily beautiful women, in those clutch moments, is you shutting down from what you’re feeling!
The source of you shutting down with extraordinarily beautiful women, in those clutch moments, is you shutting down from what you’re feeling!
Now, what to do about it?
You have to start by getting familiar, real cozy with the particular ways that you habitually close off from intense sensations. Your hands may get clammy, you may feel a knot in your stomach, you might start thinking not-so-empowering thoughts repeatedly…?
This is the beginning of “blowout.”
Try This Exercise To Prevent Getting “Blown Out”
Exercise: Next time you see a beautiful woman to whom you feel really drawn notice how you feel in your body. Notice the places that feel tight, constrained, overwhelmed.
Don’t resist, ignore or avoid those feelings. Start to notice the qualities of those sensations the way a wine connoisseur notices the intricate flavors of his favorite wine.
The more you become an expert on exactly what part of you is blowing out, the more choice, mastery and control you will begin to feel over it.
This is the start of overcoming “blowout.”
For the next steps and a complete program for becoming “unblowoutable”, you’ll definitely want to check out our Inner Game Training Program. You’ll receive a 1-hour video where we go into a 3-step process for handling ANY situation with women.
You’ll see specific PRACTICES on how to stay fully Present and avoid getting “blown out” by the women who turn us on the most.
And once you’ve expanded your capacity, you’ll have more access to your spontaneity, creativity, and freedom to meet and date the women you desire most.
