When you talk to a woman, what are you thinking about that’s preventing you from being fully present?
If you are anything like most men, there is something running the whole time you are with a woman.
Is it a script? Are you looking to the finish line? Are you trying to get somewhere?
In this clip AMP Course Leader Robbie Carlton outlines a major issue that is costing us in relationship with woman, an insightful distinction to help us understand the root causes of the issue, and an effective practice to make lasting improvements in your relating.
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The one topic I can’t really look good when I talk about it…
Currently I am actually getting better with relating with women, at least in terms of the horrific place I’ve come from and this being a massive improvement. Currently I actually don’t put a lot of attention on women because there is something going on in my body that comes up and burns me every time I try. And while I would enjoy to be more solid in feeling into that burn, I am also not really in a place where I feel solid relating with women. Baseline I would like to be showered and have clean clothing… and currently I’m a traveling… uh… people keep calling me a gypsy for some reason…
It has been fun though. Out at restaurants when I am clean and solid and I have waitresses calling me by name and I tend to get a lot of attention. Which while not my ideal is definitely an improvement. I usually just enjoy the current dynamic without trying to take it any farther. There is an expectation in me that there needs to be effort on my part to try to sleep with her. While there are situational exceptions where that may feel right, right now it honestly feels best to let the interaction be the interaction unless there is a strong drive in me to know her beyond the current context.
Relating with women, I’ve heard, is really a byproduct of how we are in the rest of our lives. I put almost zero attention on women or “Success with women” as a rule… unless putting attention on her feels good and right and on. Honestly I’d rather not go through the hassel of trying to relate with women and be pissed off the whole time, when instead I could be in love with my life… even if it means I’m years away from ever being in a relationship.
Robbie, this is so SPOT ON. I love how you articulate this with so much clarity. Being in the moment. Loving the moment. Enjoying the moment, even in the anxiousness or whatever other feelings I might judge as “not enjoyable.” I so appreciate your distinctions on this. I get to have more and more options around what I enjoy, down to the subtleties. Wow. Thank you, bro.